October 5, 2013

The Peanut Gallery (aka ‘Bill’): Uh OH!

Moi (blasé because after all – in this house ‘disaster’ is very loosely defined): What?

TPG: We have a BIG PROBLEM in the bathroom.

Moi (a little more worried – after all, we ARE on a septic system…): WTF???

TPG (taking the looong way ‘round the problem): You know those rats in the attic? Well obviously they have finally eaten through a KEY SYSTEM ‘round here and the house is gonna burn down any minute! Pack your valuables.

Moi (unmoving – see first definition): Whaaaat?

TPG (happily warming to his subject): Yup. The rats have finally eaten into the electrical system, which is teetering on the verge of self-destruct. Do you know 90% of all attic fires are caused by mice and rats?

Moi: How do you know??

TPG (smugly): I watch The Nature Channel.

Moi: No, I mean about our electrical system.

TPG (importantly): Oh, I know how to read the signs! My bathroom light is flickering overhead …we’re goin’ any minute now!

Moi (being casually, purposely irritating. Plus it seems I have time, since I can’t smell smoke. Yet.): OK. I’ll pack when I’m done writing this review…

3 days later. Dawn breaks. Moi enters bathroom.

Bill’s bathroom light (there’s 3 bulbs on his sink fixture) admittedly flickers 3x.

Then one bulb goes dim and black.


Moi (smugly): I held off Armageddon.

Bill: What did you DO???

Moi: Take a look.

Bill enters bathroom, flicks on bathroom lights to see. Lights go on and, more importantly, stay on.

Bill (in awe): How did you DO that?

Moi: I am talented, that way. Plus, I TOO watch The Nature Channel. I shall leave you to wonder…

Thus proving the Diane Adage: When the lights flicker, there may not be only ONE dim bulb in the socket…better check ‘em ALL!

And don’t forget to watch The Nature Channel!


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