The Peanut Gallery (aka ‘Bill’): Uh OH!
Moi (blasé because after all – in this house ‘disaster’ is very loosely defined): What?
TPG: We have a BIG PROBLEM in the bathroom.
Moi (a little more worried – after all, we ARE on a septic system…): WTF???
TPG (taking the looong way ‘round the problem): You know those rats in the attic? Well obviously they have finally eaten through a KEY SYSTEM ‘round here and the house is gonna burn down any minute! Pack your valuables.
Moi (unmoving – see first definition): Whaaaat?
TPG (happily warming to his subject): Yup. The rats have finally eaten into the electrical system, which is teetering on the verge of self-destruct. Do you know 90% of all attic fires are caused by mice and rats?
Moi: How do you know??
TPG (smugly): I watch The Nature Channel.
Moi: No, I mean about our electrical system.
TPG (importantly): Oh, I know how to read the signs! My bathroom light is flickering overhead …we’re goin’ any minute now!
Moi (being casually, purposely irritating. Plus it seems I have time, since I can’t smell smoke. Yet.): OK. I’ll pack when I’m done writing this review…
3 days later. Dawn breaks. Moi enters bathroom.
Bill’s bathroom light (there’s 3 bulbs on his sink fixture) admittedly flickers 3x.
Then one bulb goes dim and black.
Moi (smugly): I held off Armageddon.
Bill: What did you DO???
Moi: Take a look.
Bill enters bathroom, flicks on bathroom lights to see. Lights go on and, more importantly, stay on.
Bill (in awe): How did you DO that?
Moi: I am talented, that way. Plus, I TOO watch The Nature Channel. I shall leave you to wonder…
Thus proving the Diane Adage: When the lights flicker, there may not be only ONE dim bulb in the socket…better check ‘em ALL!
And don’t forget to watch The Nature Channel!