DISH Network

November 24, 2012

Another miscommunication from our modern world of mixed messages:

TPG:  Honey, I want to go shopping for dishes this weekend.

Me (…used to much resistance over ANY shopping trip, but figuring SOMEONE has finally seen The Light) (cheerfully): Allriiiight! BABY!

Andso I scuttle happily to my computer to refresh my memory on china pattern options whilst TPG begins studying upon dishes and TV channel options.

Yes, Virgina (…and TPG): there IS such a thing as TOO MANY DISHES!

Me: Are we going to an Outlet Center??

TPG: Well, that never occurred to me as an option – but GOOD IDEA: I’ll check if one’s nearby!

While SOMEBODY is musing on TPG’s apparently miraculous conversion to the exciting world of Home Décor, SOMEBODY ELSE is happily musing on the Wife’s Unexpected Conversion to the wide, wide world of 10,000-channel TV.

A short drive reveals the obvious disparity in perception.

TPG (proudly having navigated two freeways and twenty miles sans either map or the dreaded Stopping to Ask Directions): “We’re HERE!”

Me (looking up from the latest issue of China Weekly, where dim perception is dawning that (a) the mag is apparently fixated on some GEOGRAPHIC LOCATION and (b) there is no Mikasa sign in my line of vision: “Oh, GOODIE.”

Upon exiting the steel stallion, there is STILL no Mikasa sign in sight.  Just a row of ugly round satellites and a small, dirty building advertising “SETI hook-ups available – just ASK!” Which I take to mean they will SET YOUR TABLE upon delivery. What a perk!

At this point (a) someone is positively salivating whilst (b) the holder of the checkbook feels ‘had’, having been lured by the bait of dishes that apparently are slated for rooftop rather than dinner table.

Beware the budget aisle…

All I can say is: when push comes to shove, Mikasa will always fall in the faceoff with 10,000 channels.

But in the end …. it’s who’s left holding the checkbook who wins!

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