Tractor Daze

August 28, 2012

Ah, the sweet green grass of summer. It grows at a steady rate, never-ending in its quest for more of the 2.5 acres than is its original allotment.

Like Frankenstein (or a teenager), it ever seeks to push its boundaries and better its grip on life.

And speaking of Frankenstein … I have THE answer for all the department stores who have to contend with reluctant, crabby males forced to accompany females during shopping expeditions (with purse-holding being their primary duty – that and making appropriate disclaimers over the quintessential, inherently deadly “does this dress make me look FAT?” query. Be forewarned: in this case, honesty is NOT the best policy. Ever.)

Product Placement: Put it there and they will COME!

It’s all about location, location, location: and Diane’s Marketing Handbook neatly answers the question of how to make a shopping experience deeply meaningful for men when I advise placing a brand-new shiny TRACTOR right next to the Women’s Lingerie and Dress Department.

While she’s in there gabbing away and trying on lacey nothings with big price tags, the male shopper, lured next-door by a single rev of an engine, can be trying his paw at front-end loaders or assessing the value of a backhoe attachment for a 14’ x 15’-size urban backyard.

And when she comes waltzing out from the semi-annual sale exclaiming that the five figures she just spent represent a ‘bargain’ in comparison to the usual price, HE can pick her and her packages up using his new front-end loader attachment (also a ‘bargain’ compared to the ‘usual price’.)

Even the PET can go for a spin! BYODog…

It’s a win-win situation.

I simply can’t see why stores haven’t thought of it yet!

Well, you heard it here first!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *