You Are SO Invited

August 16, 2012


You were thinking this invite involved a PARTY, didn’t you? – but actually it’s just another cornerstone in what is apparently the latest fad: turning nasty jobs into a party that corrals one’s friends.

I opened the invite expecting something a little different than the opening lines “JOIN US as we paint our house.” The rest ‘o the invite centered around a bonding experience apparently fostered by paint and brushes, with the lure of pizza ‘afterwards’ completing the fun portrait of a group of amateur painters getting together for some shared home improvement experiences.

Gee … I haven’t been to a painting party since Kindergarten; and that one involved far more than brushes (though the lure of entire walls of creative blankness just waitin’ to be filled with color is admittedly undeniable.) My Kinder experiences involved paint on: hands, feet, face, and halved potatoes. And, sadly, the experience was limited to a cheesy 8 ½ x 11 sheet of paper. Given that the hands, feet, face and spuds still exist and that said paint is proposed to be applied to a series of 10 x 15-foot blank walls spread out over numerous rooms, I figger that right here there’s enough fun to make the chore specter of a ‘house painting party’ a real ‘draw’.

TPG, however, was not amused. When the invitation was proffered he proclaimed it was, indeed, a not-so-subtle WORK PARTY with Domino’s Pizza (and likely a coupon offer at that) involved in a cheap trade-off for free labor from one’s (supposed) friends. Gee… when you look at it THAT way, the entire bonding possibilities brought about by a combo of paint and creativity fall to the wayside. Sheesh.

I wrote back and rsv-peed that I would indeed be attending, wearing pre-painted clothing in catchy rainbow colors and bringing a complimentary sack ‘o spuds for any who had never before Spud Painted a wall (or themselves).

I also took the liberty of offering TPG’s plumbing repair skills as sideline entertainment for the masses.

Speaking of entertainment – do you know why they call it ‘THROWING a party?’ Because in reality no good party happens without something being tossed; whether it be people, footballs, food, or cans ‘o paint.  I’m not talkin’ cookies here, either: did you know you could THROW paint onto a wall, instead of merely using brushes, to achieve a ‘contemporary splatter art’ effect? It puts the ‘artistic’ into ‘chaotic mess’, all right.

Now, THAT’s ‘throwing a party’, especially if – as the invite assured – free paint IS included in the mix.

Yippee! Can’t wait!

PS – I’m not sayin’ you can’t ask your friends to lend a hand. Just let ‘em know what they’re in for. A shared work event seldom assumes party-like proportions: i.e. where’s the wine? The canapes? The pool? The music and dancin’? For example.

It may be less politically correct (but more honest) to issue an invite to the tune of: “I’m too broke to hire an expert so ya’all come on by and work your butts off and I’ve got just enough moola to spring for pizza (if we don’t get too gourmet about it….BYOB…)”

PPS – For those still interested in redefining (or mixing up) ‘work’ and ‘party’, I am holding a Septic Tank Cleaning Party in the next few months.

If you’ve ever wanted to REALLY get ‘down and dirty’… now’s the time!

In keeping with the theme, Slushees and Hot Dogs will be served a la carte  (i.e.: as you cart the stuff off, you can stop off at the food truck and help yourself.)

DIY gone awry…

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