It was tall, it was wide, and it sported a know-it-all sneer that imparted an insolent “Just TRY to ride me” attitude: the very kind of Bad Boy syndrome that makes a tomgirl wanna tame the beast.
I’m talkin’ about the Mechanical Bull espied at the 2012 Sonoma County Fair which fostered a sudden and unpredictable urge to RIDE (preferably by my boyfriend Barry; but by moi, if he proved unwilling…which he did…)
I watched a few rounds, carefully taking mental notes on when and how people were summarily unseated off da rawhide throne … and then came my turn.
“Pink Hat” the announcer called me, for the rhinestone-banded shocking pink felt cowgirl hat I refused to take off for my virgin voyage aboard the Ship of Rawhide.
But Pink Hat quickly met her first challenge in the unexpected form of being too short (…and fat) to hop up onto the Rawhide Warrior’s back.
Damn: the teenager up last didn’t have THIS problem…
Hmmm … mental review of past contestants (who apparently experienced NO such troubles) did ascertain that most were nearly 20 years (if not more) younger AND at least 50 lbs (if not more) lighter.
No worries: when I hollered out an indignant “HEY – where’s the stirrups on this puppy??” (after several aborted and futile leaps in an attempt to bounce onto the bronco’s back), the nice MC of the MB offered a gentlemanly bent knee so The Butterball could climb up; and awaaay I rode.
Yeah, and the ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ music selection was perfect choice for my ride!
R we havin’ fun YET??
I lasted the entire ride. Some memorable moments: switching hands mid-ride to demonstrate my Ambidextrous BullRiding Prowess, waving my pink cowboy hat (at the encouragement of the MC), and Diane’s Impromptu Chicken Dance of Victory at the end.
YES, we R havin’ fun!
Diane’s Chicken Dance of Victory: note that BOTH feets left the ground!
(Mr. Bull looks sullen…)
Sadly, Jeffrey – always game to join in the fun – didn’t fare quite so well, giving up good-naturedly after his second sideways spill.
RIDE ‘EM, JEFFY!
…and he’s goin DOWN….
But BOTH of us were winners that day, I figger. When hard-pressed to ‘ride the bull’, Barry would ONLY say that he had ‘already ridden one in childhood’. And was now limiting his Bull to slingin’ it.
Which I guess meant he had long ago exceeded his Lifetime Bull Allotment.
No matter: we rode it, we slung it, and we conquered it; Jeffrey and I.
At the Sonoma County Fair, Class of 2012!
Adieu, my fair Rawhide Steed: till next year!