No Bull

July 30, 2012

Many of my dearest readers and significant udders deem themselves actually TOO OLD to go to the annual County Fair and play. “Been there/done that” and all (to quote hubby TPG (a.k.a. The Peanut Gallery).

BUT – what if there were a twist to the countyfair screw?

Sure – you’ve seen the rodeos (well I just saw my first one a few days ago and I am STILL stoked…: ride ‘em!), the animal pens (…but I bet you didn’t see the Giant Pig Fight that I witnessed after the rodeo! Ride ‘em!), and imbibed at the Junk Food Runway….but one new attraction this year stood out from all the rest and inspired delicious thoughts of sweet revenge.

I’m talking THE MECHANICAL BULL.

No bull??   YES, bull!

And here’s where the delight portion rears its (bullish) head: I’m DETERMINED to get my boyfriend BARRY to ride The Mechanical Bull.

Now, soft: whilst Barry is more than willing to go along with SOME of my ideas, he (like most normal human beings on the planet) obviously (and sadly) has his limits. And – no bull – I already somehow instinctively suspect The MECHANICAL BULL to be one of those boundaries.

HOWEVER … I hopefully will have a partner-in-arms in the form of his new bf Jeffrey, who will undoubtedly (and admittedly I am going out on a hoof by predicting the future here) abide and abet my efforts to get Barry to RIDE.

I am perfectly aware a good degree of Whining may be involved. I’ll have to practice in front of the mirror (…. and TPG has just [thoughtfully] advised that I am STILL PROFICIENT at its finer art). Jeffrey will help me.

I am perfectly aware that we may ultimately have to buy Barry off (or, in this case, ON). Money talks, dontchaknow. Jeffrey will help me. And since he’s a semi-pro photographer, there WILL be photographic evidence of The Great Ride, even if I have to employ some Photoshop skills to the visual proof of the bullish pudding.

Worst case scenario: I will SHAME da man by riding myself, then slinging the bull about his underlying Fear of Bull. Which is, quite plain and simple, Bulls**t.

No matter what way it comes down – it’s COMIN’ DOWN this Thursday, at County Fair 2012. (They failed to publicize THIS momentous event in their advertising brochures, but I’m just sayin’. You heard it HERE, first.)

The annual County Fair. It’s not just about pies, cotton candy, Farris wheels, prize-winning homemade goodies, and rodeos. It’s not even about Giant Pig Fights or the newly-established Reptile Room (that I also long to see.)

Nope, it’s gonna boil down to BULL, pure and simple.

Ridin’ it, slinging it, and whining about it.

Ride ‘em, Barry!

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