The Super Raccoon Club

June 3, 2012

Most small towns have a social club. Here in our neck of the woods it’s the Ladies of Bloomfield. Which obviously excludes men and wildlife.

I propose a more inclusive rural town club. I’m calling it The Super Raccoon Club.

Unlike the Ladies, we won’t conduct high tea indoors on scented tablecloths with teacups you can only slip your pinkie into.

Nope, The Super Raccoon Club will meet – always – outdoors, by the pond. So we can WASH our food in nature’s own running waters (um – more honestly, in the Donovan Fish Pond…).

The Ladies recently held a Mad Hatter Tea. Attendees sported their finest high-fashion hats.

Much in the manner of Ralph Cramden, The Super Raccoon Club will defy fashion with – of course – raccoon hats sporting long, twirlable tails.

The Ladies’ teas offer small sandwiches without crusts, finger-sized desserts, and fragile china pots of tea.

OUR teas will consist of: small fishes (whole), troughs of chili, and still waters … which shall run deep.

The Ladies’ underlying motto seems to run along the lines of being of service.

OUR motto will be “serve yourself”. As such, OUR buffets will be self-serve, all-you-can eat affairs.

The Ladies strive to clean up da town.

WE strive to get down ‘n dirty in the garbage for those gems SOME people wantonly toss out. Since United Can Carriers comes at the crack ‘o dawn, don’t get excited if you hear a little can rustling at 5AM.

It’s just The Super Raccoon Club, doing what we do best.

Pilfering gold from the garbage cans of life.

Panning for gold from the garbage cans of life!           


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