How do you know you are entering into The Age of Dinosaurs?  ‘Cause it’s not all about The Past, folks! Quite often it’s all about The Present….

Yes, it’s an awesome thought: but The Age of Aquarius has seemingly overnight changed to The Age of the Dinosaurs (see lyrics below my name. Video re-enactment with actual unlife-sized dinosaurs forthcoming.)

EVERYONE has an ‘inner dinosaur’. Even Obama.

After careful determination I have decided I am Stegosaurus. Formerly armour-plated but actually a gentle grazer, it still holds enough tail punch to clobber T. Rex.

  My bff Beni is a Brontosaurus. A large, gentle herbivore, it can often been seen towering above the swamps contentedly munching swamp ferns. Few dare challenge her; but despite its stature, there’s a gentle soul inside.

The Peanut Gallery is quite definitely a T. Rex. Large in stature, fierce in roar, always hungry …                 

                                                     (…what a WUSS….)

Yea, everyone has an Inner Dinosaur. How do you know when Inner is moving to Outer?

1.    Modern music has suddenly changed from ‘meaningful’ and ‘the best ever’ to ‘noisy and meaningless RACKET’.

2.    Those new-fangled phones they make have LOWER VOLUME even on the ‘high’ setting. Can’t be your hearing, so it MUST be da phone…(well you know: they just don’t make ‘em like they USED TO….)

3.    Those gourmet restaurants you used to like so much that served better food than Jake’s Ye Olde Diner served too-small portions so you went back to Jake’s years ago; but now you can’t eat his Lumberjack Dinner Special. Obviously eating capacity has diminished (although sadly, the tummy structure hasn’t…)

4.    Language changes. If you’ve taken to using words like ‘contraptions’, ‘new-fangled’ or phrases like ‘when I was your age’ or ‘that’s nothing, let me tell you about MY medical horror story’ (particularly when dining out), your Inner Dinosaur is emerging. AND – it’s not always welcome.

Now soft – this is NOT an inevitable change. Sure, you may outwardly look like you’re a dinosaur – but it’s the innards that count (both in the food world AND in the Age of the Dinosaur.)

And as in any self-help situation there ARE things you can do to be a Positive Dinosaur example to peers and youth alike.

1.    Never begin a sentence with ‘when I was your age’. NUTTIN good comes of that reflection, believe you me! Instead, begin with ‘HERE’s a fun thought!”

2.    Don’t approach your dinner table with a pre-conceived set of rules that have to be satisfied in order to be happy. Cultivate the unexpected and delight in the new! (This includes the unexpected Bonus Stewed Snake that appeared as Today’s Special at the new Surprise Delights Restaurant because SOMEBODY didn’t think to ask…)

3.    By the same token, don’t approach new friends with your pre-conceived set of rules (well, aside from the basic moral/ethical values assessments). Good friends don’t always ‘fit’ in your box!

4.    Speakin’ of ‘box’ – it’s totally impolite (if not expressively forbidden) to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet with a takeout box in hand ‘for the dog’. The dog’s not sittin’ in the car at OUR age – it’s long buried out in the back 40. And you’re FOOLING NOBODY.

5.    DO cultivate saying ‘yes’ to things you don’t ordinarily do. That air balloon tour over the vineyards, that invitation to go skating when you haven’t been in like 50 years but your body is still (luckily) rarin’ to go, that journey to the ‘big city’ to take in a concert when you’ve been stuck in the rut of not going further than the Back 40 for entertainment….

6.    DO take in the Music of Youth. For a gentle segue between Tommy Dorsey’s Big Band Sound and Green Day, cultivate ‘take your teen to a concert’ week. (You CAN pick the style – thus avoiding Heavy Metal if you wish – but the selected artist should be at LEAST under 25.)

7.    DO something you never thought you would/could do. Play pinball. Attend a free concert in the park. Look at the Entertainment listings for a fashion show, high tea, the local Jack Daniels Distillery Tour and Limited Tasting, go go-carting, and more. Remember: life didn’t ‘stop being good’ 30 years ago – it’s still there – PASSING YOU B ( while you’re out in the back 40 fixated on that dog’s actual burial spot.)

Yes, we are entering into The Golden Age of Dinosaurs. We ALL will (luck permitting.)

But that doesn’t mean you have to roar for your dinner and be unhappy because it’s not the Gourmet Stegosaurus of your childhood memories! (Bill….)

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