Non Sequiter

March 21, 2012

Diane’s Dictionary’s literal definition of the above subject line is actually ‘changing the subject’. But it sounds a WHOLE lot fancier when you couch it in French.

I am the “Queen of Non Sequitur”, according to The Peanut Gallery. BUT I protest that I had a GREAT teacher in the form of Bill himself, who is (a) ADD and (b) a dropout of Boston Teacher’s College. Creating a DEADLY combination, indeed!

Lest there be argument and quibbling over “who is best” at the finer art (which actually is admittedly ALREADY HAPPENING here at Chateau Donovan), I’ll put it to Reader Vote: who do YOU think is the Non Sequitur Queen (or King)?

Subject ‘A’.  The furnace isn’t working AGAIN and I SO don’t want to spend money to fix or replace it, which is totally money down the drain (Or more literally, up in smoke) since it’s only 7 years old. Especially since I’m saving ALL my money for a Jackalope. Which SOMEBODY won’t agree to even though it is (a) cheap ($16 to be precise. Including shipping) and (b) holds great potential for starting a Country Museum. (If we bought say 50-100 of ‘em. On Ebay. Where they all live.) I’ll bet if we ordered 100, we’d get free shipping. Because most of the Jackalopes are from the same Jackalope Factory. In Texas. Where Jackalopes are born and breed like bunnies. But since NOBODY I know out here has even one Jackalope, think how RICH we’ll when we put out our Jackalope Museum sign at the bottom of the driveway. People are BORED; they’ll drive miles to see something different. And the Jackalopes would make ALL our investment back! We’d be rolling in money and then we could visit Texas and get our OWN BREEDING JACKALOPES. And we’d be making so much money we could actually afford to fix the furnace.

Or

Subject ‘B’. You are NUTZ. WAIT – is that scrub jay attacking our feeder AGAIN?

I’ll leave you to wonder ‘who is who’ in the above conversations.

1. Disclaimer: I am NOT nutz. Just ‘creative’. Ask my Mom. And my creative writing teacher, Mrs. McGillicutty.)

2. BOTH of whom, might I add, would readily see the VALUE in a Jackalope Investment.)

3. And just for the record – it is NOT “a pyramid scheme with antlers”. Bill.)

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