Diamonds in the Rough

March 8, 2012

…I grew up with the Better Homes ‘n Gardens version of a coffee table in the living room carefully laid out with Good Housekeeping, Interior Decorating, and occasionally even Architectural Digest (to impart the message that we are both cool AND well educated) and Metropolitan (because after all – we lived in San Francisco, home of hippies!)

Polishing the (unread) magazines that occasionally served simultaneous duty as coffee coasters on Mom’s coffee table was one of my jobs – as was noting when the Fade Factor indicated too long an indenturement and required fresher replacement (equally untouched) copies.

As I carefully dusted Mom’s (boring) literature I always envisioned what I would have as impressive reading material on MY coffee table “when I grew up” – and it wouldn’t be Good Housekeeping!

So every time I see a notable and blatantly odd book, I envision actually GETTING a coffee table to support it, so any guests could be intrigued by my latest reading choices.

I am unduly PROUD of my latest acquisition, the 2,000-page tome (I kid you NOT – just come on by for a viewing!):


Of course, I’ll have to read it cover to cover to assure Brag Rights; but gee. I’m willing to bet NOBODY else I know has snagged Smut Fungi: obviously the perfect way to begin an after- (or, even during-) dinner conversation.

Alongside, for some comic relief, would be a Dr. Seuss revised classic:



(Those of you who are not already Lovecraft horror fans, walk don’t run to get the irony of THIS little bedtime ditty for the very young….)

For something certain to raise heated discussion among socially conscious circles:                

           (NOTE: LOTS are ‘looking inside’ this classic, you can just bet!)

..and for those who always suspected the truth about the underlying cause of low energy levels:  People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It 

…I certainly have cultivated the expertise to comment about THIS issue, so it’s satisfying to see SOMEBODY beat me to the punch by producing an entire book on the subject:

There’s ALWAYS somebody in every crowd who wants to talk about their health. When males bring up their chronic ailments, just direct them to THIS observation:                  

 (Now, here’s an intriguing take on the old ‘pro and con’ debate subject!)

These are just the tip of the iceberg.

My recommendation: if you have an empty coffee table and parties that are waay too boring, go to your local bookstore and scrounge.

There you will locate DIAMONDS just waiting for display! And, don’t forget the ‘heavily discounted’ area: bookstore clerks with little imagination often squirrel the BEST titles there!

What can I say?


Just look.

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