THE HELL I DIDN’T

December 21, 2011

Some of you may recall the Three Wise Penguins decibel last year, when my inadvertent gifting of myself after a hectic holiday season apparently resulted in upstaging hubby’s Lesser Penguin gift, resulting in fireworks and innuendos of Selfish Frivolous Spending Habits (…mind you, Xmas last year was a GOOD sales year, the Three Wise Penguins in fact were a 3-4-1 special, this year they are Out of Print, moving them easily into the realm of an Investment, and they were my ONLY self-gifting choice…)

THIS year I have showed AWESOME self-gifting restraint in the face of a positively awesome array of Holiday Self-Gifting Choices.

I had two CLEAR winners, and I’ll admit readily to succumbing to:

1. DICK AND JANE AND VAMPIRES: THE BOOK

I mean, REALLY. Those of us old enough to recall Dick and Jane have apparently outdated memories involving Spot. I can’t WAIT to see how this turns out when the book arrives. Will they befriend Vampires …. Or will they be converted? One can only wait with baited breath (and clenched teeth) to see how THIS ‘Dick and Jane’ evolves….

2. EASTER ISLAND TISSUE BOX

I have actually coveted this thing for YEARS. As I child I spent an inordinate amount of time wondering about the Easter Island statues. Whilst adults pondered their origins, I wondered why they ALL LOOKED SO SAD. Now I know … the Common Cold had struck! Evidence above.

THE HELL I DIDN’T: items I could have, maybe should have … but didn’t quite dare:

a. HORSE HEAD MASK

http://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-12027-Horse-Head-Mask/dp/B003G4IM4S/ref=pd_sim_t_39

I mean, just THINK of the year-round possibilities! From job interviews to unemployment lines, SAT test rooms to high tea … the applications are simply ENDLESS. I believe I am showing GREAT RESTRAINT at not getting it.

So THERE, Mr. ‘You Are a Frivolous Spender’! I can show simply AWESOME restraint in the face of temptation.

b. The Dead Fred Pen Holder. I’ll admit to not being NEARLY hostile enough to have this prominently displayed on my desk. But as a substitute for a Voodoo Doll – it can’t be beat.

c. …few things can encourage me back to the world of traditional employment as the opportunity to display the Butt Station Desk Accessory Holder on my desk. It makes me want to work in an office for ONE DAY just to have/display this. Likely that’s ALL I’d get, anywayz….

Finally:

d. Canned Unicorn Meat.

…for those who dare to dream….

ALL available on Amazon, btw!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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